the machinations of a modern life

its time to call a spade a spade.
india is a pathetic country, we dont respect our fellow humans , we dont care .. we have no respect to the rules , regulations , we can buy out of anything that we do.
patriotism is bullshit in a place where the common man is not respected.

our commonwealth games is a shameless exhibition of corruption , ego fighting , parading our inefficiency.

our bhopal gas tragedy is an example of why anyone with money can do anything and not fear any consequences.

our goverment gives a shit about anyone. they want to be in power and earn money.

our industrialists dont give a damn. but why should they ?

and people are comfortable in reading times of india everyday , read page 3 , read the fight of the ambanis which if any sane individual reads knows its a big bullshit story.
are they competitors ? no they are not .. they are just keeping customers in the reliance family. its an illusion that we have a choice between them, at the end they get their business whether its mukesh or anil. an amazing marketing masterstroke that even dhirubhai would be proud of !

people are happy talking about "others" and "things" and "stuff" , they gossip .. they pride in having great friends whom they talk about behind their backs. people are happy in becoming an engineer and scoring the highest and this they believe makes them the best.
someone says oh i think i am the best , why .. cause i scored the highest grades. okay well so how does that make a difference ? do your grades help you to get a job just like any other , how does one have a false sense of superiority ?
and why does the highest grades give us that sense of superiority ? why do people think they are so so so self important and arrogant and stubborn.
oh yes i am doing a phd and so i am original. so how does that make a difference ?? does anyone pause to think , or just accept society's standards and assumptions and preconceived notions about life ?
i think we should think less about our degrees , our grades ... yes i believe they are important , important enough to get us trained in a certain field of expertise. but we shouldnt have a false pretence of greatness ?

people are selfish , self centered ..and we have the audacity to make judgements at western culture. our own culture is degrading and breaking into pieces.

oh please oh please just because i am born in the land and i grew up doesnt mean that whatever happens is the best.
i cringe when people talk to me about patriotism , do something about your country.

and what am i doing .. i dont know , i just feel helpless. but however i feel no sense of attachment to my country since i was born there, i feel no patriotism , i feel cricket is a bloated game of self centered fatsos , i was a fan too .. but growing up i realized it neither is the best sport nor the most popular by any standards. we yearn for a superstar who is the best in the world , we havent found one. sachin , he is great but just great in cricket which can never be called a world sport.
we dare say when some random actor or actress from the west feature in some random bollywood movie its a hollywood one.
we want to be important.

indians are obsessed at being important ,
we are obsessed in the fact that we are big and powerful

hence i respect aamir khan , i respect sachin tendulkar. but the media is india's biggest failing.

the common man is india's biggest failing. its time to raise our bars and then talk.

what am i doing , i dont know. why dont i be the difference i want "my" country to be... well is that the contradiction when i say am not patriotic. nope i give a shit , i give a damn ... but the sense of growing up there has instilled in me a certain sense of belonging so when i refer to it i call it my country.
well in my own way i am i guess ,i dont want to send money to the orphans in india , i dont want to do some social service , the ngos .. i hate NGO's.
i just want to do my work , i just want to work on something that will make a difference. in my own way i would like to be a better human being first and then contribute to society with my skills.

i dont know what i just wrote about , but it feels good to let it all out. am not claiming to be anything different from the above but nor am i what i said above. i am just letting it out and wanting to lead a sincere life without any pretense.